I'm tired of cold nights, lonely days, and being left out in the rain. I'm well dressed, coiffed in the latest fashions, and sporting appropriate genitalia. The ink stains my previous owner left on my face can easily be removed with tender loving care, and the crack in my big toe is fixable (with duct tape). Some of my hair has been ripped out, but nothing a wig or transplant won't take care of. I come complete with my own fold and tote house and a battery operated vehicle that runs via radio controller. If you can swipe it from the little monster, we'll be off in a heartbeat.
Oh, please, someone rescue me... Winter is coming on!
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